Passage of time

Sunday: I always feel like I won't have time to write during the week, and I always manage to find time, but this time, I really feel like I won't have time (and that's time four times in one sentence, not counting this parenthetical insertion, which brings it to six). So I'll start tonight.

We're watching "I, Tonya." It's a great movie, and although I couldn't decide whom to root for as Best Supporting Actress (I loved Laurie Metcalf in "Ladybird," but I've been a huge Allison Janney fan since "The West Wing"), I think that the Academy made the right decision.

I followed the Tonya/Nancy story very very closely in 1994. I was sure then that Tonya knew more than she admitted; now, I'm not so sure. Even then, though, I felt some sympathy for her. I was a working-class girl, too. I couldn't ice skate to save my soul from Hell, but if I had been a figure skater, I wouldn't have fit in with the sparkling ice princesses either. I find it hard to believe that a skating judge admitted to Tonya that he and other judges were deliberately lowballing her scores because they wanted to force her out of the sport. But I find it very easy to believe that they actually did lowball her scores to try to force her out of the sport. I remember watching her skate, and hearing commentators say things like "some have called her Trashy Tonya." Those "some" of course, being the commentators, who could thus call Tonya Harding trashy without actually calling her trashy.

Monday: I'm wearing glasses now. I normally wear contact lenses all day long, but my eyes were badly strained today. Eyestrain has been a problem for me for some time, but it's gotten worse. I look at a screen for hours at a time, and by the end of the day, my eyes are burned out. By 8 pm tonight, I literally couldn't see anymore. The glasses feel much better.

I've worn contact lenses for ten years. Every so often, though, I think about just wearing glasses all the time. I don't really like the way they look on me, but it would be nice to just put glasses on in the morning and take them off at night--no cleaning, no soaking, no worry about running out of lenses. On the other hand, I don't know what I'd do about sunglasses. Prescription sunglasses, I guess. Or maybe those glasses that just turn dark when you're outside?

My mom has worn glasses since she was six years old. When I was growing up, we almost never saw her without them. They became part of the architecture of her face; part of its basic structure. She changed glasses every two years or so; at one point, she even had those upside-down frames that Allison Janney wears in "I, Tonya." One of my fears about wearing glasses is that I'd tire of the ones I chose and would want to buy new ones every three months. One of my hopes is that the glasses would become so much a part of my face that I'd look a little weird when I took them off, just like my mom.

Tuesday: I keep losing things. It's spring, season of massive anxiety and panic attacks, and I tend to be forgetful and not to mince words, stupid, at this time of year. This afternoon, I came this close (imagine my thumb and forefinger about 3/4 of an inch apart) to calling my bank and telling them to cancel my debit card. Then I found it in my pocket, where I'd put it after filling my gas tank minutes earlier. I left my computer charging cord at my desk at the government site two days in a row; following the day on which I left my phone at home. I keep dropping things. I keep tripping, and bumping my head, which has probably already sustained as many blows as it can take. And now, even Microsoft Word thinks that it can mess with me. I might not have Google Docs on lockdown yet, but Word is my bitch, and I won't allow it to disrespect me.

Wednesday: Well, that took a turn, didn't it? Meanwhile, in the Day in the Life department, Shit Just Got Real division, this person is now a licensed driver in the state of Maryland:

It's always later than you think. 

Thursday: My second-ever playoff game ended with an overtime loss for the Capitals. True confession: I don't actually care that much if they win in the playoffs, although I know I'll be really happy when they eventually win a Stanley Cup. As much as I love hockey, I like the routine of the regular season much more than the intensity of the playoffs. And even for a fan, it's hard to sustain playoff excitement for over two months, which is how long it takes. It's too much.

That's right, you better run. 

Saturday: Maryland has become the home of six-month winters that end abruptly with summer. It snowed a week ago; today, we're in shorts and flip-flops. At least we haven't seen or heard the mouse. Maybe it likes the weather and wants to stay outside. Or maybe I scared it last week. That's probably it.




Sunday. Maryland weather: "I'll see your crazy ass in Hell." Thanks, Colin Jost.